The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...

When in the midst of all your fears and insanity,

You stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the

Voice in your head cries out - ENOUGH !

Enough fighting, crying or struggling to hold on.

And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,

Your sobs begin to subside; you shudder once or twice,

You blink back your tears, and through a mantle of

wet lashes you begin to look

At the world through new eyes.

This Is Your Awakening  

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for

something to change or for happiness, safety and security

to come along galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that he is not

Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella, and

that in the real world, there are not always fairytale

endings (or beginnings for that matter),

and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must

begin with you, and in the process, a sense of serenity

is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect,

and that everyone will not always love, appreciate,

or approve of who or what you are...and that is OK.

(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)

And you learn the importance of loving and championing

yourself, and in the process, a sense of new found

confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for things

they did to you (or did not do for you),

and you learn that the only thing you can really

count on is the unexpected. You learn that people do not

always say what they mean, or mean what they say,

and that not every one will always be there for you,

and that its not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care

of yourself, and in the process, a sense of safety and

security is born out of self-reliance. You stop judging

and pointing fingers and you begin to except people as they

are and to overlook their shortcomings and

human frailities, and in the process, a sense of peace

and contentment are born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and

the world around you is as a result of all the messages

and opinions that have been ingrained into your pysche.

And you begin to sift through everything you have been

fed about how you should behave, how you should look

and how much you should weigh, what you should wear

and where you should shop and what you should drive,

how and where you should live and what you should do

for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should

marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the

importance of having and raising children or what

you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to worlds and different points of view.

And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are

and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing

and you begin to discard the doctrines and values of you

have outgrown, or should never have bought into to

begin with, and in the process, you learn to go with your

instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we recieve.

And that there is power and glory in creating and contri-

buting and you stop maneuvering through life merely

as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles, such as honesty and integrity,

are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the

mortar that holds together the foundation

upon which we must build a life.

You learn that you do not know everything; it is

not your job to save the world and that you cannot

teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility

and the importance of setting boundaries and

learning to say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you

choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at

the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and

familial love. How to love, how much to give in love,

when to stop giving and when to walk away.

You learn not to project your needs or your feelings

onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more

beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important

because of the man on your arm or the child that bears

your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are

and not as you would have them be.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is

with love. And you learn that you don't have the right

to demand love on your terms...just to make you happy.

And you learn that alone does not mean lonely...

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact

that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10.

And you stop trying to compete with the image inside your

head and agonizing over how you "stack up".

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,

smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...

and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the

things that you want...and that sometimes it is

necessary to make demands.

You come to the realiztion that you deserve to be treated

with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you

will not settle for less. And you allow only the one who

cherishes you to glorify you with his touch and, in

the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is a temple.

And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.

You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water,

and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue

diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear.

So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels

the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time

to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part, in life you get what

you believe you deserve...and that much of life

truly is a life-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working

for and that wishing for something to happen is different

from working toward making it happen. More importantly,

you learn that in order to achieve success, you need

direction, discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that noone can do it all alone and that its

OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you

must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time.

FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through

your fears, because you know that whatever happens,

you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away

the right to live life on your terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it,

living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn

that life isn't always fair. You don't always get what

you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things

happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these

occasions, you learn not to personalize things. It is

just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal

state -- the ego. You learn that negative feelings such

as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood

and redirected, or the will suffocate the life out of you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build

bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort

in many of the simple things we take for granted;

things that millions of people upon the earth can only

dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water,

a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself,

by yourself, and you make yourself a promise to never

betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than

your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime

outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And

you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting,

and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally...with courage in your heart and with good

friends by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep

breath and you begin to design the life you want to

live as best as you can.

Written By

~ Virginia Marie Swift~